He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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