I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
