he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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