Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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