last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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