Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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