The best revenge is premature balding
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
