So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
