I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
