everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
