Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
