Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
