Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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