He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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