i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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