I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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