She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
