how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
