whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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