She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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