Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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