So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
