Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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