When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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