Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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