this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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