i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
