So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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