You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All the doctor said was why
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize