How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
