Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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