its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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