I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
