Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
