her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
