He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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