im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
