my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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