Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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