bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
