It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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