I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
