We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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