we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
