you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
