now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize