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just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
