my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
this hospital has no fireball
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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