Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
