am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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