My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The power of my boobs compel you
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
