His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
