dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
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