i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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