apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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