You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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