I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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