Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
