Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
