I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
