It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
