you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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